False Messiah

Scattering deceit is your gift
Creating fiction after fiction
Fabricating imaginary truths for the blind to see

"Follow me!"

You loathe those who think
Those who see the filth behind the color-tinted glass
You contentedly provide them with uncertainty
Then you slay them with your tongue

He you can't dominate you detest
You grip his neck and sing insults of hope
"Tomorrow will be a better day,
I want you to be there."

You clasp the wings of those who yearn to soar
You fracture their souls and break their spirits
The damage is irrevocable
Set them free

You are a Messiah of False Hope
with arrogance you walk this earth
"Come with me and be saved."
Pristine. Immaculate.
Oblivious of the mud at your feet

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This night is set for indulgence.

A sickle through your throat
A dagger cleaving, piercing your side
What a serene image
What a divine sight indeed

The sound of metal through skin
Echoes from deep within
Blood drops after another
I stare at your inert corpse

As I rejoice blankly, expressionless
Sanity evades

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Your mask is cracking
Years of concealing is finally drawing to an end
Everyone notices, everybody awaits
Soon, your truth will be uncovered

Idol Pacman!

“Don’t give your life a chance to die.”

- Manny Pacquiao

Mumblings of (Stressed) Chabbi

Two years ago, a friend of mine that is going to the US right after she finished college asked me: “Dito mo ba (sa Pilipinas) balak magtrabaho?” . My answer was simple: “Oo naman. Ano naman ang gagawin ko sa ibang bansa?”.

I was very idealistic. My answer was backed up with hope that there is a bright future here. Why go to another country when you can also build a great career here? It really made no sense why some parents (*cough* Hi dad! *cough*) chose to leave their family behind in search for “greener pastures”.

Once you have your diploma, you are in the same playing filed with the rest of the fresh graduates who are also in search for a job. So what is your edge? Simple: Good grades.

Graduate + Good Grades = Good life

My parents always say to me: “Peng, mag-aral kang maige. Iyan lang ang maipapamana namin sa iyo.”

Generally speaking, I did well in my 5-year stay in Engineering School minus of course THAT year of hard pAArtying, “social” drinking, **** smoking and other illegal stuff (I’ll save that for my next posts). I had (*cough*) good grades, a few points shy graduating with honors (Damn, my throat is killing me. J).

Simple. Straightforward. Or so I thought.

Two Years later…

Somehow I get it. I can now understand my Dad.

QUESTION: “Ano naman ang gagawin ko sa ibang bansa?”

ANSWER: MADAMI

There is hope here; I know that, however right now, I’m wondering if I can still wait for that time. I don’t know, but I think I have a lot of potential and what better way to maximize that potential is to go where to the center of IT / Engineering in Asia is, which is definitely NOT here.

But a part of me, the idealistic me, tells me to stay. Use that potential HERE. (Philippine National Anthem in the background)

Plus, how about my family and friends?

Career. Convenience. Success. Friends. Family.

Shit! I hate uncertainty. (I have a feeling I’m just stressed. Pagbigyan niyo na ako.)

Dramathon sa Hapon

Isang Mensahe.

Walang pangalan ngunit alam ang katauhan. Ang simpleng pagbanggit lamang ng iyong ngalan ay nakapagpa-nginig sa iyong laman. Pumukaw sa mga emosyong akala ay matagal nang patay, limot na.

Limot na nga ba o sapilitang ikinubli?

"Hindi siya ito.", tangkang pagpapaniwala sa sarili.

Sinimulang basahin, unawaain. Pamilyar ka sa pagbuo ng pangungusap, sa paraan ng kanyang pananalita. Nasa iyong isipan ang imahe ng may-akda, ang kanyang tinig, umaalingaw-ngaw. Pilit tinapos ang nasimulan at nagmaang-maangang galing ito sa isang kakilala.

"Siya nga.", duwag na pagkumpirma.

Siya nga kaya?

Sino pa ba?

Naghanap ng salitang maaaring makapagbigay kahulugan sa nadarama.

Naalala ang maliligayang araw. Ngunit agad itong ninakaw ng mga masasama, malulungkot, kalimot-limot.

"Sino ka?", pagkukunwaring tanong, huwad na pag-uusisa. Umaasa, hindi, nagmamaka-awa na ang matuklasang kausap ay isang kaluluwang walang kaugnayan.

Bigo.

At namulat ka sa masakit na katotohanang kasing-hirap ng pag-alala sa isang taong hindi mo pa nakikita ang paglimot sa taong minsa'y naging sentro ng iyong buong pagkatao.

D R A M A.

Balimbing

This plant is a small tree growing to a height of 6 meters or less. The leaves are pinnate, about 15 centimeters long. The leaflets are quite smooth. There are usually 5 pairs of leaflets which are ovate to ovate-lanceolate, the upper ones about 5 centimeters long and the lower ones smaller. The panicles are small, auxiliary and somewhat bell-shaped 5 to 6 millimeters long. The calyx is reddish purple. The petals are purple to rather bright purple, often margined with white. The fruit is fleshy green or greenish yellow, and usually about 6 centimeters long, with 5 longitudinal, sharp, angular lobes. The seeds are arillate.

The fruit is fleshy, acid, green or greenish-yellow and edible. It is eaten with or without salt rather extensively by Filipinos and the juice is often used for seasoning. As in kamias, the juice is used in washing clothes and removes spot or stains. The fruit is made also into pickles and sweets.

Common Names:
Bicol: Balingbing
Ilocano: Daligan
Bicol, Tagalog, Visaya: Balimbing
Visaya: Galangan

Masarap ang Balimbing. Masarap patayin.